My Car is so dirty...

You can't tell what color it is until you get close(my car is black)

Now the security guard knows me because one time I had to roll down my window to show him my ID

My windshield has so much dirt that I don't dare clean it in fear of scratching the glass.

Lizards think my car is a rock and use it to bask in the sun.

Strangers keep asking me how I see out my windshield.. I say, go over there so I can see you...